as i went through this week, i became very irritated. you see, i've been dealing with a lower back issue. i was frustraited because it prevented me from doing normal, everyday things. things i would never give a second thought to doing. for example, switching a load of laundry from the washer, to the dryer. you would think this would be a simple five minute task. but as it took me fifteen, due to the simple fact i had to get onto my knees to perform this task, because i couldn't simpley bend over to switch the laundry. this would be very irritating and frustraiting for most people. but it made me think about how something so out of our control, can cause us to act differently, and put a damper on anything we do. it's a good example of how we must make other people feel. if you are anything like me, you like to be in control, of almost everything; from what people think of you, down to the way that people do a simple team-oriented task. and this personality of mine turns people off. it cripples them because it tears down their creative level, or makes them feel inadequate, sometimes even causing them to not even try. i know that i have felt this way before. and i don't think it is right to make someone feel inadequate, dumb, or unsure of themselves. so why would i treat someone like this? the truth is i would never want to, but it still happens every day. i am the normal, everyday person. the one who sits at a desk wondering why i come to work where nobody notices me. i am the person who goes home to a family, who doesn't act like one, i am alone.
sounds pretty normal right?
wrong the truth is, this isn't the norm. its what we are told the norm is by the media, by every outside influence that surrounds us. that's why when we actually hear the truth, we don't believe it. it seems surreal, it seems out of our reach. so we don't even try. the one person who want's to help us, can. but he feels that same pain that i had in my back all week. you see, we are the weak muscle; the disk that is out of place. making it difficult for Him to fulfill His purpose for the world we were born into. He is God. and we are His models in the world, but we are too afraid of what might happen, that we become limp; un-useable. it's as simple as having coffee, with that one person you don't want to. the one who has dealt with divorce, the one who has lost a loved one, the one who lost their job. you see? when you put the focus on someone else for a moment, the more your problems don't exsist. it's simple. give more than you recieve. be the hope to them. Love them like God loves them. because God is Love, and where there is love, there isn't room for anything else. live it out.
i want to stop being the pain in His back. the one who reminds Him of the things i chain His hands from doing. i don't want to be the reason that he can't change someone's life. i don't want to be the reason a child is left behind, or the reason a mother is left to fend for herself. i don't want to be the reason people turn away from Him. because God brings life. nothing evil comes from Him. He only brings beauty from the bad things that happen. so why do i chose to live in the darkness? because i want to lead the people who are afraid of His light, directly to His heart. they are the ones he loves. and i know that he uses people in any way possible to reach them. this is just how he chose to use me. i want to love them like he does. like he loves me. this is life. and this is what i live for.
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